Strange feeling

I'm a little dejected this morning. Woke up with a headache for the 3rd morning. Neck and back hurt, which sadly I think is from the new pillow I bought. I did my usual thing, got up made breakfast for my man. Put some snacks in a bag for him for work. Said "I love you" and "have a good day" and walk him to the door. I go straighten my hair a bit, and go back to bed. The office opens later today and Mondays, so I have time to go back to bed for hour and half. Ususally this is nice. I get a little more sleep, but the past few days, its hasn't been so nice.

Took me forever to fall back asleep. Moved from my pillow to his pillow, and back to mine. Got cold, so I put a blanket on, got hot so took it off. Just having the hardest time trying to get comfortable. Finally about 8:15, I fall asleep. I dream. Strange dreams. I won't go into all the detail cause its not important. But in the dream, I had gotten a book from my grandmother (mamaw) who passed away this past October. I usually dream about her. I was very close to her. This dream, I was reading a book she had left for me. It was a fantasy book about this princess and this boy escaping from some bad guy, had some rats that could talk in it. Anywho, in the back of the book, she had written on some of the blank pages. There were a lot of pages she had written on, like a diary of the last days of her life and things she wanted to tell me. I remember where I saw that some of the days she said she was having a hard time concentrating and remembering things and would write that down. Unfortunatley, thoes are the only pages I got to see. I wish I could have seen others where she wanted to tell me something. In the dream I was going thru this book and reading the passages and crying. I woke up and was crying in real life, crying in my sleep. I must have been crying hard, cause thats what woke me up.

That was a strange experience. To wake up and be crying in real life from the dream. I was in a fog when I got up, where I was, what was I doing home, what time is it. Just confused. Took a few minutes to realize what day it was and what was going on. I am still alittle out of it. Sad a bit. When I think of the dream I still get teary eyed. I still have a headache, which dosen't help the day at all. But I will get over it. The day has to go on, no matter if I want it to stop and go home and hide under the covers.

I'm not one for looking into my dreams. I don't try to find meaning and analyse if someone is trying to reach me and protray a message. But this once, I would like to know what it meant. What I needed to know or if she was trying to tell me something. Maybe I won't ever know. Maybe it was just a dream. But I do know that it just made me sad. Wherever you are Mamaw, I love you and miss you.